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A Little Bit of Witch Envy

Witch Envy - Green witches hat wth black veil

Scrolling through my Instagram page I see another post showcasing someone’s spell work.  It’s a beautiful shot of an altar with all the trappings of another spell in progress. As I look closer at the picture, I feel it, a sharp sting to my subconscious.  Hard as I may try, I can’t fight the feeling, the feeling of a little bit of witch envy.

Yep.  I said it.  Witch envy is alive and well in this psyche. It shouldn’t be, but it’s there, lurking in the shadows. But why is it there?  What is this crazy witch envy that sneaks up on me from time to time?

Witch envy is what rears its ugly head when I feel that another practitioner is being more productive than I am.  They seem to be doing more spells, have fancier altars, or appear more “witchy” than I am feeling at that moment.  Yes, it seems ridiculous to feel this way and it is showcasing some of my worst insecurities.  But there it is, popping up at the strangest moments.

Is there a valid reason for this feeling?  Yes. No. Not really. It’s not as if I’m envious of their success or their work. Matter of fact it is just the opposite. I am very proud of all that they are doing and the fact that they are confident enough to share their workings with others. So why the twinge?

Witch Envy - Green witch hat with black veil
A green hat to match the Witch Envy.

Why the Witch Envy?

I’ve been asking myself that question all day, hence the blog post. Having been practicing for more than 20 years I no longer find the need to do spells for each and every little thing (not to question the validity of anyone else doing such). Currently, I am at the point in my life that I do spells and rituals for what I call “the big stuff.” Sabbats, holy days for my Goddess, and for things I greatly desire.   I live the magick each and every day, creating and manifesting through deed and thought. So why do these postings bring out the green-eyed monster?

Insecurity is the root cause. Am I doing enough with my Craft? Do I practice enough? Could I be doing more? Yes, I teach, I blog and write about witchcraft each and every day. I create and share spells, rituals and my “magickal moments.” Yet I still often feel insecure, like I am forgetting something important. When I see these posts it highlights that feeling of insecurity, of not doing enough.

Weird, right? I am a successful, powerful woman and witch yet I still feel insecure. Does anyone else feel the same way? Sure they do. Is it okay to have these feelings, this envy and longing? Yes it is. But it’s what we do when we feel that witch envy that makes us the witch, the practitioner, we want to be. If we come from a place of love and introspection then we can begin to understand why these feelings of envy are manifesting. We then have the opportunity of growing from the experience.

Growing from our Witch Envy

How can we grow from our feelings of witch envy? I can’t speak for everyone but for me it’s breaking down why I felt envious and then putting a plan into action to alleviate the feeling. In this particular case, I’m writing this blog as an exploration of the feelings. You, however, may take a different tact.

Perhaps this feeling is telling you that something is missing from your Craft. If so, make plans to find the missing pieces and start putting them into place. Doing something physical and tangible often replaces the feelings of envy with determination or accomplishment. Going to your favorite magickal store or website for a new item to update and enhance your altar will chase that envy away quickly. Creating a new ritual or spell can move you our of envy and into action.

Envy is not a negative emotion if it brings about positive change and progress. Instead, envy can be our helpmate, our good friend that kicks us in the ass and tells us to do something with ourselves. A little bit of witch envy may be just the ticket to kick starting a new chapter in our Craft.

So, the next time you feel a twinge, or start seeing green, remember to use that feeling to your advantage. You may be surprised at what you can accomplish with a little bit of witch envy.

Blessed Be!

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Bed-Head and Broomsticks

It’s three in the morning and I rise with anticipation, and a yawn.  I shuffle my sleepy butt to the front room, grabbing my tools along the way.  I set up my altar, checking the clock for just the right moment, the correct planetary hour, to begin my spell. I raise my hands to begin my work and catch a glimpse of someone in the hallway mirror. What is that hideous creature staring back at me?  Curious, I squint, taking a moment to adjust my rheumy eyes, then realize it is indeed, me. The picture is not pretty. Me, sitting at the altar with my glorious bed-head, carefully sculpted by drool and an uncomfortable pillow, looking for all intents and purposes like I visited Medusa’s stylist.  I’m taken aback by the sleep encrusted eyes and the scowl of caffeine depravation.   There is a reason why people are frightened of witches. It’s the bed-head and broomsticks.

Twenty some odd years ago when I first began practicing my Craft, it was possible to find me at 2 or 3 (or earlier)  at my altar/craft (as in sewing) room, or in the family room working spells and doing ritual.  It was joyous to be up and working when all else were asleep. The world was quiet, the energy of the night wrapping about me like a warm, comfortable sweater, alone but for the Gods I may be evoking.  I would do my work, go back to bed for an hour or so and then get the kids up for school and myself ready and off to work.

Now, at 56, I still get that call to rise, to work magick during the “witching hour”.  But reality is a cruel bitch. It reminds me that I have to be up at 5 to get ready for work, that my energy levels are not what they once were.   Sleep, it seems, is the siren that calls to me now. Am I any less of a witch? Is the fact that I am often in bed by 9 and rarely rise to meet the call of the “between” time of midnight a detriment to my Craft?  Nope.  it just changes how I work a bit.

As a student of witchcraft, quantum physics, and the theories of non-lineal time, I can tell you that “time” is definitely relative. Yes, I love working with the moon phases, the planetary hours and seasons. I do, however, realize that time, being non-lineal, that is not in a straight line, means that any time can be the “right” time to do magick. My head could be expertly coiffed or straight out bed-head but the timing could still be spot on. It kind of makes my life a bit easier, knowing that time is on my side (yes, I hear the eyes rolling).

Maiden, Mother, Crone, we all can work our magick at the time that best suits are lifestyles and energy levels.  We can be a morning person, night owl, or any place in between.  Whether we work with what time we can, stick scrupulously to the planetary hours or just freaking wing it, our magick is our own.  We need to do what feels right, what works with our lives, souls, and traditions. This is our Craft, not any one else’s.  We need to stop feeling guilty if we miss the exact moment of the Full Moon or fall asleep before our New Moon spell work.  We are witches, but we are also human.

So the next time you awaken at midnight eager to get to your spell work or are setting up your altar at 2 in the afternoon, remember that it’s all good.  Intention, focus and will are what truly make the magick.  The bed-head is just a perk.

Blessed Be!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Sticky Note Dichotomy

I had a very interesting conversation with a co-worker the other day.  We were talking about all the changes that were taking place our the office and how it made her feel like things were out of control.  I mentioned that I have a sticky note on my monitor that says, “Relax, nothing is under control”  and how it helped me sometimes when the general craziness of an ever changing environment starts to get to me. Then bam! I had something click so loudly in my brain that I wondered if it echoed down the hallways.  I took a step back, commenced a hard mental assessment of the statement, “nothing is under control”, and metaphorical bells went off.

I am a witch.  By definition we bend, we shape, we manifest change. We take those things that are seemingly out of our control and through our will we mold it into what we want or need in order to control our environment. While the general populace is constantly being bombarded with self-help gurus and social media telling them to just go with the flow and not worry about those things that are “out of their control”, we the Witches, the Wizards, the magickal folk, are instead in the shadows creating change and making life flow in the direction of our choosing.  By having placed that little yellow note in my constant line of sight I had created the perfect personal dichotomy.  On the one hand as a Witch I create change on a daily basis.  On the other, I am in a mundane work environment where I have no say in the changes happening around me so I need to just relax and go with the flow ( if I wish to keep my job).  As you can imagine, this revelation did not sit well with me.

I guess you could consider me a bit of a control freak.  Hello! Virgo and a Witch. My entire existence revolves around keeping things organized and under some sort of control.  Imagining that somehow, for some strange reason I seemed to be relinquishing that control by following the advice written on a tiny piece of paper really got my hackles up.  This wasn’t really me.  Was I changing myself to fit my job or was my job changing me? The control freak in me was scrambling to find a foothold on a crumbling cliff.

A few breaths later and the practical Virgo found her footing and started shooting spit wads of wisdom at me.  “Remember,” she said. “There are just some things you can’t or shouldn’t try to control or change either because of personal ethics or possible negative consequences.”  As an example,  I can’t change my boss’s personality, but I can work to sweeten her attitude towards me.  I shouldn’t try to control the weather, one, because I am a novice weather witch and two, because moving that storm away from my house could possibly cause unforeseeable and/or harmful consequences.  Ok, for those things, I could give the control freak a much needed vacation and perhaps relax, a bit.

As for all those other instances in life when I am told to relax, it’s out of my control, guess what?  I am going to mold, shape, and manifest any changes I feel will enhance the quality of my life and the life of my family and friends. I will do so with all the skills I possess and will relax knowing that this Witch is doing what she can to make this life a great one.  I will continue to do this even at work, where positive change is so desperately needed.

Oh, and come first thing Monday morning I will be wadding up and chucking that sticky note in the trash.

Blessed Be!