Weekly Tarot Reading-Four of Wands, May 16-22, 2022: It’s time to celebrate!! This card portends the culmination of your hard work, a major event (such as a wedding or graduation) or the achievement of a goal. An accomplishment such as this deserves a party! You deserve to be recognized for this success. Enjoy the limelight and have fun !
A Little Bit of Witch Envy
Scrolling through my Instagram page I see another post showcasing someone’s spell work. It’s a beautiful shot of an altar with all the trappings of another spell in progress. As I look closer at the picture, I feel it, a sharp sting to my subconscious. Hard as I may try, I can’t fight the feeling, the feeling of a little bit of witch envy.
Yep. I said it. Witch envy is alive and well in this psyche. It shouldn’t be, but it’s there, lurking in the shadows. But why is it there? What is this crazy witch envy that sneaks up on me from time to time?
Witch envy is what rears its ugly head when I feel that another practitioner is being more productive than I am. They seem to be doing more spells, have fancier altars, or appear more “witchy” than I am feeling at that moment. Yes, it seems ridiculous to feel this way and it is showcasing some of my worst insecurities. But there it is, popping up at the strangest moments.
Is there a valid reason for this feeling? Yes. No. Not really. It’s not as if I’m envious of their success or their work. Matter of fact it is just the opposite. I am very proud of all that they are doing and the fact that they are confident enough to share their workings with others. So why the twinge?
Why the Witch Envy?
I’ve been asking myself that question all day, hence the blog post. Having been practicing for more than 20 years I no longer find the need to do spells for each and every little thing (not to question the validity of anyone else doing such). Currently, I am at the point in my life that I do spells and rituals for what I call “the big stuff.” Sabbats, holy days for my Goddess, and for things I greatly desire. I live the magick each and every day, creating and manifesting through deed and thought. So why do these postings bring out the green-eyed monster?
Insecurity is the root cause. Am I doing enough with my Craft? Do I practice enough? Could I be doing more? Yes, I teach, I blog and write about witchcraft each and every day. I create and share spells, rituals and my “magickal moments.” Yet I still often feel insecure, like I am forgetting something important. When I see these posts it highlights that feeling of insecurity, of not doing enough.
Weird, right? I am a successful, powerful woman and witch yet I still feel insecure. Does anyone else feel the same way? Sure they do. Is it okay to have these feelings, this envy and longing? Yes it is. But it’s what we do when we feel that witch envy that makes us the witch, the practitioner, we want to be. If we come from a place of love and introspection then we can begin to understand why these feelings of envy are manifesting. We then have the opportunity of growing from the experience.
Growing from our Witch Envy
How can we grow from our feelings of witch envy? I can’t speak for everyone but for me it’s breaking down why I felt envious and then putting a plan into action to alleviate the feeling. In this particular case, I’m writing this blog as an exploration of the feelings. You, however, may take a different tact.
Perhaps this feeling is telling you that something is missing from your Craft. If so, make plans to find the missing pieces and start putting them into place. Doing something physical and tangible often replaces the feelings of envy with determination or accomplishment. Going to your favorite magickal store or website for a new item to update and enhance your altar will chase that envy away quickly. Creating a new ritual or spell can move you our of envy and into action.
Envy is not a negative emotion if it brings about positive change and progress. Instead, envy can be our helpmate, our good friend that kicks us in the ass and tells us to do something with ourselves. A little bit of witch envy may be just the ticket to kick starting a new chapter in our Craft.
So, the next time you feel a twinge, or start seeing green, remember to use that feeling to your advantage. You may be surprised at what you can accomplish with a little bit of witch envy.
Fumbling with the Keys to the Mysteries
We’ve all been there. Standing in the dark, in front of a door and fumbling to find our keys. If we are lucky we find them quickly. However, we still have to somehow place that key into the lock and open the door. Metaphysically, we often do the same, fumbling with the keys to the mysteries. We keep trying to find our key, then somehow the lock we need to open. Often, we become frustrated, disenchanted and give up looking for the keys at all. We step away from the door, unfulfilled, still yearning for more.
In order to stop fumbling with our keys, we must first know what the mysteries are. The mysteries, in a magickal, spiritual, or religious sense, are defined as “the secret rites of Greek and Roman pagan religion, or of any ancient or tribal religion, to which only initiates are admitted.” Additionally, it can be defined from the Middle English mysterie “hidden religious truth, rite or event with religious significance, and a hidden meaning”.
Of course, like the notches on the bit of a skeleton key, each of our mysteries is unique, one of a kind. Each coven, tradition or religion has their own group of mysteries. Finding some mysteries may be easy and another may take a lifetime to unlock. Additionally, what may still be unrevealed to you may have been unlocked by another. So what are our personal mysteries? How do we find our keys?
Locating the Keys to the Mysteries
I can’t speak for you, but I can share one of the mysteries I am in the midst of unlocking. Having been practicing my Craft for over 20 years I am still finding new mysteries to explore. Currently, I am looking back in time, working on unlocking the mysteries of the Ancients. I am exploring the work of the first magicians, the shamans and wise women. I search for answers to the mysteries of the primal, the visceral, the primitive magicks that began it all. This is my mystery, the door requiring me to find the key to its wisdom. What is yours?
Once we’ve defined our own mysteries we still have the job of locating its keys. We can’t keep fumbling with the keys to the mysteries forever so we must shed some light on the hunt for our particular key. Some may find their keys with a candle or a flashlight. It took a torch for me to find mine. Knowledge is the torch, the light in the foyer of the mysteries, illuminating our fumbling hands. It is what allows us to find our keys and then the lock which opens the door to the answers we seek.
Knowledge can be found in books, grimoires and even searches on the internet. However, so much of the knowledge we seek is in the experience, the search itself. Witchcraft and magick is experiential, active, physical. We can’t sit in one place and expect the key to miraculously open the door. No, we must get our butts out of the library chair and do something to move towards the door. Meditate, walk in nature, perform ritual and spells. Use whatever arsenal you currently have to shed some light, illuminate the lock, and then move towards that door.
Opening the Door with the Keys
Armed with the knowledge you need, you can stop fumbling the keys to the mysteries and open that door. That’s it. Place the key into the lock and turn. Slowly push the door open, take a deep breath, and step through.
Surprise! Once you step through that door you find that there is not just one room, one corridor, to lead you to the answers you seek. Instead there are many tunnels, many passages and even more doors to unlock. One hallway may shift, move from one doorway to another, midway down its shadowy depths. Losing your key half way down the hall may force you to begin again, only to find new questions need to be explored.
The mysteries are forever changing, shifting and growing. Revelations may be reveal themselves today that make no sense six months from now. The very essence of your mystery may change and your may be back to fumbling with your keys. Please, don’t let yourself be discouraged. Half the fun is in the journey.
Stop fumbling with the keys to the mysteries and get moving on your quest. Find that light, illuminate the lock and open the door. It is through hard work, knowledge and dedication that you will be able to find the answers you seek. Blessings upon your quest.
Lessons From Ganesha
When packing up my desk on my last day before retirement, I scooped up a small statue of Ganesha. He had been placed there many years before, in such a way that he was continually in my line of sight. I’ve always felt drawn to Ganesha, although I wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was the elephant head, the cute rat at his feet or that he always looked so happy. I knew a bit about his attributes so when I felt like obstacles were constantly being thrown in my path, professionally and personally, turning to Ganesha for some much needed help just felt right.
If you are not familiar with Ganesha, he is the Hindu God of success, wealth, the remover of obstacles, and on the flip side, can place obstacles in your path should you become vain and overly ambitious. He is called upon when beginning any new venture, such as a new project or business. Unbeknownst to me before I began writing this blog, he is also seen as the patron of authors. How cool is that?
Ganesha sat there on my desk, day after day, looking out over the chaos that was my work life. I would silently talk to him, asking that he move the obstacles in my path so I could move ahead, get out of my current job, become the writer and witch I needed to be. He would sit there, smiling, his eyes seeming to sparkle, but he never answered. Or so I thought.
One particularly bad day I excused myself and went into the restroom. Seeing that no one else was there, I entered a stall and promptly began to cry. Not just a little, but big gut wrenching sobs. Ganesha, I thought, why did I feel blocked at every turn? Why did I feel so bad, so stressed, so done? I wanted, no needed, to be out of that place but I kept hitting a proverbial brick wall. Suddenly a picture of a caricature me flashed before my inner eye. In the vision I stood, trowel and mortar board in hand, in front of a tall red brick wall. Slowly my cartoon self looked up just as the bricks began to break free from the highest point of the wall. They fell, cartoon style, on my head as a dialog balloon popped up, filled with $%&* (cartoon cursing). My tears dried up and I began to laugh. Loudly, nearly hysterically.
Drying my eyes and composing myself, I exited the stall, realizing that I’d just received a rather poignant, if not comical, message. The world wasn’t giving me obstacles, I was building them myself. Wow, talk about an “AHA” moment. I’d been looking at the big picture all wrong. The obstacles weren’t something that the Universe had placed in front of me, they were of my own making. I sent up a silent “thank you” to Ganesha and went back in to work.
Sitting down at my desk and smiling at the happy statue once again in front of me, I jotted down what had just happened. I did my best to identify those obstacles I’d built and then some ideas on how I would go about demolishing my obstacles. Needless to say the list was quite lengthy. Once finished, I felt an incredible weight lift off of my shoulders. I had a list and a plan. As any Virgo knows, those two things are what get us off our butts and moving forward. Every. Single. Day.
That evening, list and plan in hand, I began taking that edifice down brick by brick. It took several weeks, a lot of research, number crunching and soul-searching, but cracks began to appear in the wall. When all was prepared I sat down for a long talk with the husband, four different spreadsheets in hand, each with a different scenario and budget carefully planned out. I was going to retire – not quit – my current job, and write and teach full time. He looked them over, picked one, and my wall tumbled down.
Since I have retired Ganesha has received an honored place on my bedroom altar, the altar I look to every morning. He reminds me to be careful of what I am building in my life. Do my plans keep me happy, my options open and energy flowing? Or have I become the architect of a new wall, constructing another obstacle to once again trap myself in a situation or place I could have easily moved around? I am hoping I have learned my lesson and retired my trowel and mortar for good. If not, I know Ganesha is there, ready to teach me another lesson in obstacle demolition.